Good Morning, Lauraville!: Out of the Mouth of Babes

Recently I received the following email from Beth W., who is the wife of my good buddy Mark F.:

Olivia [their 4-year-old daughter] and I went to the library and she decided to "read" the titles of the Maisy books by looking at the covers - pretty logical. One "title" Olivia saw at the library today and very loudly announced was this: "Maisy drives a hooker!"

Maisy Rides a Crane was the actual title.

I was so proud of MYSELF for not losing it right there. Unfortunately, I DID ask her, "What did you say?"

After she repeated it I said, "Oh, that is a crane, Sweetie. 'Maisy Rides a Crane' is the title."

Upon receiving Beth's email, my mind immediately locked on to a story involving my own daughter, Phoebe.

When Phoebe was first learning to read about 3 years ago, she practiced by sounding out many of the words she saw around her until, by context, she'd "guess" what the word was. Results were less than perfect. For example, one night we were sitting at the dinner table. In front of me was a 2-liter bottle of Pepsi. Phoebe saw the brand name on the bottle and began sounding it out, one letter at a time. "P. P. P. Pe. Pe. Pep." Suddenly she stopped, looked at the 2-liter bottle, then looked at me and made her guess with complete confidence: "Beer!"

I thought this was so damned insightful (the idea that it must be beer because it was big and in front of Daddy) that I immediately left the dinner table and shot out an email to various friends and family recounting the story. My buddy Bill R. obviously was at his computer when it arrived and it only took him about 5 minutes to respond in kind.

"That's nothing," Bill shot back. "Last night, me, Lisa [his wife], Henry [his 10-year-old son] and a friend of Henry's went to dinner at a local restaurant. During dinner, Henry casually mentioned that he hated the New York Yankees. I, of course, was pleased [Bill, as discussed elsewhere in this Blog, is a Red Sox fan], but Lisa was mortified.

"Henry," Lisa gently reprimanded him. "We don't use the word 'hate' in this family. 'Hate' is the worst word."

"Without missing a beat, and with complete seriousness, Henry's friend spoke up: 'I thought 'motherfucker' was the worst word.'"