The Beginning of EVERY Penthouse Forum Letter Ever Published

Dear Penthouse Forum:

I never thought that these letters were real, but -- after what happened to me -- I now know that every single word in them is absolutely true.

I attend a larger than average midwestern university. The other day me and my two buddies were sitting around my dorm room, knocking back a few beers and talking about automotive repair, when there was a knock on the door.

When I answered it, I couldn't believe my eyes. There, standing on my doormat, were five tall, thin, blond Swedish stewardesses. Of course I invited them in and, much to my surprise, the only English phrases that they were able to say were "Harder, stud!" and "Can I have some more of your cheap American beer?"

I was so unprepared by this turn of events that it took me a moment to realize that the only thing they were wearing were towels ...