Happy Freakin' Christmas

If my "Baltimore's Miracle on 34th Street (2006 edition)" post wasn't enough to get you in the Holiday Spirit, then here's a little music to help you wash down your eggnog-with-a-lithium chaser:

1. I Farted On Santa's Lap

2. I have no idea what this is called

3. I Want A Hippopotamus for Christmas

This last one should really be called, "I'll Want To Slit My Wrists After Listening To That Shitty Song" but, hey, there is no truth in advertising anymore.

This is the last post for 2006, kids. See you in 2007.

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Christmas in Baltimore, 2006

The first Saturday following Thanksgiving means more than just the opening day to hunting season, my friends. It means that it is now officially Christmastime in Baltimore. To celebrate -- if that is, in fact, the right word -- I took my family to the famed Miracle on 34th Street. For those unfamiliar, the Miracle is the tradition, started some 47 years ago by folks who wanted to raise the cost of electricity, whereby the residents of a certain street of Baltimore row houses ("34th Street") try their best to attract aliens to land on Earth.

These are a few lo-res shots of the environs that I took with my camera-phone before it was confiscated by the police:

LOTS OF DRUNK BALTIMORISTAS AWAITING THE MOMENT OF TRUTH

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YOUR MIND ON DRUGS

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SANTA WEARS EYEGLASSES (TO HELP HIM TELL WHO ARE THE JEWS)

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XMAS IN BALTIMORE MEANS BIG LIPS AND DUCKS ON LIGHT BULBS

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DON'T FORGET YOUR KING-SIZED JESUS TOTE BAG

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PEACE, HON

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BIG FLAMINGO SHITS A BUICK

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